Why Your Incident Response Plan Will Fail (And What to Build Instead)
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The short version: Your IR plan will fail because it assumes perfect information, available people, and linear progression, none of which exist during a real incident. Stop perfecting documentation and start building response muscle memory through surprise drills and decision frameworks.
I asked a room full of security leaders one question.
“When was the last time you tested your incident response plan with an actual surprise scenario, not a scheduled tabletop?”
Nobody could answer.
These were smart people. Experienced CISOs. Companies with mature security programs. And every single one of them had a beautifully documented IR plan sitting in a SharePoint folder somewhere, collecting digital dust.
Here’s the thing: your incident response plan will fail. Not because it’s poorly written. Not because your team isn’t capable. It will fail because plans don’t survive contact with reality.
The Three Ways IR Plans Fail
1. The Plan Assumes Perfect Information
Most IR plans read like choose-your-own-adventure books:
“If malware is detected, proceed to Section 4.2.”
But in a real incident, you don’t know it’s malware. You know something is wrong. Maybe. Or maybe it’s a false positive. Or maybe it’s Tuesday and everything looks weird on Tuesdays.
Real incidents start with ambiguity, not clarity.
2. The Plan Assumes Available People
Your IR plan lists roles:
- Incident Commander: [Name]
- Technical Lead: [Name]
- Communications: [Name]
Your real incident happens:
- At 2am Saturday
- During the Incident Commander’s vacation
- While the Technical Lead is dealing with a family emergency
- When Communications hasn’t been updated since that person left 8 months ago
Plans assume availability. Reality doesn’t care.
3. The Plan Assumes Linear Progression
Step 1 → Step 2 → Step 3 → Resolution
Actual incidents: Step 1 → Oh no → Wait, what? → Step 2 → Back to Step 1 → New information → Panic → Step 4 → Why is the CEO calling? → Step 2 again → Resolution (maybe)
Incidents are chaos. Plans are order. They don’t mix well.
What to Build Instead
I’m not saying throw away your IR plan. You need documentation for compliance, for training, for institutional knowledge.
But you need something else for actual incidents: response muscle memory.
Build Capability, Not Just Documentation
Instead of: Detailed runbooks for every scenario Build: Core decision-making frameworks that work regardless of incident type
Instead of: Annual tabletop exercises (scheduled, scripted) Build: Quarterly surprise drills (unannounced, messy)
Instead of: Perfect contact lists Build: Redundant communication channels tested under stress
Instead of: Step-by-step procedures Build: Principles that guide decisions when procedures don’t fit
The 3am Test
For every element of your IR plan, ask: “Would this actually work at 3am with half the team unavailable?”
If the answer is no, you don’t have a plan. You have documentation.
Practical Steps
1. Run Surprise Drills
Not tabletops. Not scheduled exercises. Actual surprises.
- Pick a random Tuesday at 10am
- Announce: “We have a potential ransomware incident. Go.”
- Watch what happens
- Document every friction point
- Fix them
2. Test Your Assumptions
- Can you actually reach your IR team in 15 minutes?
- Does everyone know where the plan lives?
- Do your backups actually work?
- Can you function without [critical system]?
If you haven’t tested it, you don’t know.
3. Build Decision Frameworks
Instead of “If X, then Y” procedures, build principles:
- Containment over investigation — Stop the bleeding first
- Communication over perfection — A fast update beats a complete one
- People over systems — Protect humans first, data second
- Progress over paralysis — A wrong decision you can fix beats no decision
4. Document the Gaps
Your plan will have gaps. That’s fine. What matters is knowing where they are.
After every drill, every real incident, every close call: document what the plan didn’t cover. That’s your roadmap for improvement.
The Real Goal
Your IR plan isn’t supposed to be a script. It’s supposed to be a foundation.
The goal isn’t a perfect plan. The goal is a team that can respond effectively when the plan falls apart—because it will fall apart.
Build capability. Test constantly. Embrace the chaos.
That’s what actually works.
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